The Things We Leave Behind

Last week my husband's grandmother passed away. She was 93 years old, and suffering from alzheimer's. For what seems like many long months, she did not recognize any family members, including her own son.


This weekend some time was spent going through a portion of her belongings, the things she left behind. My father-in-law pulled out two drawers from a chest and asked us to look through them and see if there was anything we would like to have. I wish I could show you actual pictures of the items, but here is a partial list:


A card signed by President Ronald Reagan, on the occasion of her 50th wedding anniversary.


Some old ration books from WWII.


Several Native American dolls and books, reflecting her Choctaw Indian heritage.


Many old spools of thread and needle books.


Postcards and brochures from places around the world that she and her husband had traveled to.


Various pieces of costume jewelry.


A pair of Mickey and Minnie dolls, a reminder of years spent living in southern California and many trips to Disneyland.


Among the other items, three stood out the most to me. One my father-in-law had already removed, one we found that day in the drawer, and one that I looked for but could not find.


In that same drawer several weeks ago, my FIL had found a small envelope containing a piece of paper and a stick about 5" long. The paper said, in his mother's handwriting "This is a stick our little Jeff played with. May 1964". For over 40 years she had saved a piece of stick that my husband played with as a toddler. She loved him so much. My FIL put the little stick and the note in a frame as a keepsake.

Another item that stood out was a letter from her husband she had saved. Just a short note written on a plain piece of white paper. He worked as a welder in a California shipyard and often was away from home. The note was brief, "I can't wait til Friday when I can hold you in my arms again..." It contained a few other sweet sentiments, and ended with these words: "You are my good woman. Love, Bill". That is a beautiful testimony of their life together, over 60 years of marriage before he passed away.

The last item I looked for but did not find. It may have been thrown away, sold at auction, or may still be packed away somewhere. I hope to find it, because it is the one thing of hers that I really would love to have. A small wooden sign, hung with brown cord, with these words: "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." That summed up my husband's grandmother to me.

The things she left behind showed that she loved her family, her family loved her, and that being nice in this world was more valuable than being important. Those are pretty good things to leave behind.